trains plotting

This past Christmas we put together a CD as our version of a card. It was Brad's brain-child and the incarnation of it was a collaboration. What follows is a song list, an explanation from Brad, and a slightly revised version of the Christmas newsletter that accompanied the album. The first is a loose-ish piece of writing from Brad written mostly for himself to get his thoughts together. I recently found it and think it expresses what he tried to do with this collection better than our actual letter. So I post it first. We promised in the original letter to post the lyrics, but I've decided to hold out an offer of emailing them to anyone interested. Just give me a call or email and I'll get them right out to you.

Trains plotting
1. pony boy/bruce springsteen
2. steady rollin’/two gallants
3. folsom prison blues/johhny cash
4. i was young when i left home/bob dylan
5. last of the steam-powered trains/the kinks
6. aginst the law/wilco & billy bragg
7. blinded by the darkness/t bone burnett
8. freight train blues/bob dylan
9. remember the mountain bed/wilco & billy bragg
10. john wayne gacy, jr./sufjan stevens
11. las cruces jail/two gallants
12. california stars/wilco & billy bragg
13. gone darker/electrelane

Brad's thoughts on this album:

trains/plotting
trains

prison

running

none is righteous, no, not one;
no one understands;
no one seeks for God.
all have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good,
not even one.
their throat is an open grave;
they use their tongues to deceive
the venom of asps is under their lips.
their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.
their feet are swift to shed blood;
in their paths are ruin and misery,
and the way of peace they have not known.
there is no fear of God before their eyes.

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
fast bound in sin and nature's night;
thine eye diffused a quickening ray;
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
my chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.

"These songs mean much to me because they explore mistakes, pain, suffering, loneliness, restlessness, imprisonment, longing, searching, laughing, loving, joy, and life.

"I love every aspect of my life: my wife, my child, my parents, my sister, my in-laws, my grandparents, my aunts, uncles and cousins. my job, my house, my friends, my church. but underneath all of these things is an ache for more. a desire to leave everything. or to give up. a feeling that there is no hope. knowledge that I am a vile creature, prideful, scheming, dark, evil. I am barely different than a chronic alcoholic, or a murderer, or the worst creature you could imagine. the main difference between myself and these type of men is external – my sins do not in plain view destroy my life or that of others. but make no mistake, my sin destroys. it tears at my heart and soul. my foul moods, with blue smoke seeping out from my ears. my ingratitude. my long hesitancy to grace my wife with forgiveness, or a kind word when it is needed. these sins rend my heart, and worse, they mock the God who has created me in his image.

"These songs ring true to me. my face has been hot with tears. my greeds, desires, my cravings, hopes, my dreams inside me fight. look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid. a restless wind is whistling through the canyons, through my head. the more i search, you know the less i've found.

Christ was sent to break these shackles, and break them he did. hallelujah."

The Slightly Revised Christmas Newsletter:

train
12. a series of proceedings, events, ideas, etc.
13. the series of results of circumstances following or proceeding from an event, action, etc.; aftermath
14. a succession of connected ideas; a course of reasoning

Brad has been wanting for some time now to make a mix CD about trains and prisons. It’s hard to describe why, except to say he’s drawn to lyrics such as: “Every day is just another town / the more I search you know the less I’ve found”, “ I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die”, “I don’t like it in the wind / I wanna go back home again / but I can’t go home this a-way”, “All this peaceful living is driving me insane”….

Brad and I love our life together, and Atticus , and all our friends and family…but life is hard. No matter who you are, no matter how much you love each other, life is hard. Brad likes these songs because they remind him of this truth, and in doing so they also remind him of the necessity and beauty of Christ’s saving grace. So that’s why this is a fitting Christmas album.

If you are interested in reading the lyrics [email or call me and I’ll get them to you].

So the news-y part of the letter: This is Brad’s and my second Christmas together. The momentum of our new life has been pretty knuckle-gripping. A few months before Atticus was born Brad began a new job working with the architectural development group BKV in downtown Minneapolis. He loves the variety of projects and the pace and structure of his new work home. And he loves biking into work – even far into the winter season, though the bus has helped him out on few blizzardy-icy days.

Another change for us has been our involvement in a church plant up in Brooklyn Center – All Nations Christian Fellowship. Since we meet in an elementary gymnasium – a very ugly gymnasium – this has led to some textile projects for me: large wall-hangings and other banners and table covers. Through ANCF Brad has become involved in a prisoner mentor program up at the Lino Lakes Correction Center. We are also part of a small group that meets weekly in our home.

Prior to our move to ANCF we met every Thursday for an entire year with our good friends Eric and Leah Miller and Anne and Joe Golliher. Together we went through the Westminster Catechism, prayed for each other, played games, ate dinner, and the boys smoked plenty of Cigars. The friendships that were knit together here has meant so much to us.

May 9^th, 2006 our son Atticus Robert was born. He has seamlessly woven into our lives. A sweet and lively-souled child. He loves walks, his daddy, being read to, eating paper, nursing, watching people, music, our dog Victor, baths, the songs Pony Boy, Old MacDonald, and This is the Day the Lord Has Made. He adores being carried around anywhere, everywhere. Many many trips have been made up and down from Dubuque and Des Moines so our families can be a tangible part of Atticus life.

Shortly after Atticus arrived, I began taking art lessons from a lady over in St.Paul. It is a small group setting with individual instruction in drawing and painting in a classical realist style and technique. I begin oil painting instruction this month. [As a side note: I am no longer taking lessons in this format as the instructor is in the midst of a move and is unable to give me the time I need to learn from her. I continue to paint and draw every Wednesday night on my own at home. Maybe not ideal, but I press on in the time and space and energy I have right now.] Finding time to write, read, and do various art projects has been understandably difficult with a baby. But I have been able to carve out some time for these things, as well as continued house projects and on-going correspondence with my family and friends through our blog and phone/emails. We also re-tiled our entryway room, and I began implementing my landscaping vision in the front yard and have continued with my room-painting obsession working on the entryway, the guestroom, and Atticus’ room. I haven’t found a good balance for projects and social involvement and time with Atticus and Brad and personal devotion/study time, but I continue working it out hoping with diligence to become more adept at co-ordinating all these asundry threads of my new life.

Brad’s grandfather, Walter Johannsen, passed away shortly after Atticus came, but was able to meet him and be with him a few times before leaving. We were thankful for the joy he received from Atticus the last weeks of his life.

As some lives left, many new cousins and friends were born. Half a dozen babies were born into families at our church. My cousins Lisa and Jason Carriere welcomed a long-awaited son, Ian, in January [and are now expecting their second child!]. Cousins Brian and Jeanette Ackland welcomed their second child, Blake. Cousins Ryan and Rebecca Van Arkel cheerfully made room for second son, Eban. My cousin Laura and her daughter Hayley welcomed a new son/brother Hunter. And we became and aunt and uncle for the first time: Our niece Lilly Catherine was born to my brother Aaron and sister-in-law Lindsey right around Thanksgiving. [And now Brad’s sister, Kara and brother-in-law Brian are expecting their first child, due this August.]

So that is our year. We pray that Christmas finds you well.
John 1:14

Brad, Sarah, and Atticus Johannsen

Christmas 2006