Surprise!!

Yes, we are unexpectedly expecting Baby #4 September 4th. I am 8 weeks along. Wow! If you are wondering how we are going to manage this -- four children 4 and under -- well, the answer is:
1. Not very gracefully
2. And that we are already over our heads BUT GOD is day by day holding us up through this. So it feels like He is just pressing us into Him -- No other way to navigate through all the horrible wonderfulness of all of this tiny mob of children.

Now:
1. I am thankful that I do not have intestinal cancer (as I previously wondered -- I had just begun going to a GI specialist to find out why I have been so sick...).
2. And I am thankful that our kids will be in one big jolly clump.
3. And I am thankful to be pregnant alongside my dear friends Leah Miller, Anne Golliher, and Sarah Deems and even with my faraway friend Lisa McCowen.
4. AND Leah told me this week that children conceived while using birth control have a greater probability of being girls because "female" sperm are stronger swimmers. [Yes! to all you dear nose-y people out there (-: We were rockstar solid about our condom use -- every single stinkin' time -- HUZZAH to Brad's mighty rocket sperm!]
5. I am thankful for having absolutely no trouble with fertility -- my heart hurts for some of my close friends who have had such a difficult path to become pregnant, to stay pregnant, to become a mother and father. We are so aware and grateful that we have it very very good and easy in this area -- not something to mock, joke about, or take lightly.
6. And, truly, when I saw that "I'm Pregnant" stick sitting there on the sink, I didn't think a single coherent thought -- I just saw the three beautiful, strange-newborny little faces of Atticus, Dietrich, and Lincoln and I was very very very happy. I knew it would be better than okay (even if it might not feel or look like it all of the time, or for a few years (-:).
7. And, lastly, I am thankful for our families and friends and church family being so kind and encouraging and festive in their congratulations so that we were able to freely rejoice in this and not hang our heads sheepishly as if we were some pair of naughty teenagers or, worse, completely irresponsible grown-ups.

Man plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps (Proverbs 16:9) and this is definitely His good, sovereign, humorous hand.

This morning I saw "her" tiny little heart beating and her arm and leg buds waving. My heart seems to already be growing toward this new child -- I think it is because I have these three little boys who are so tangled up deliciously in my heart, and I can't but be excited to learn to know another tiny soul. Thank you, God, for this hard and scary and wonderful privilege.