Having and Giving Some Trouble...

tending and tending...

I read the blog Soule Mama by Amanda Soule. She had her 5th child a couple weeks ago and so has been having guest bloggers "stop by" to share in her absence. A few days ago, a mama of 6 girls, Tara Thayer, posted a poem that I love. I am fairly sure that Tara is not a Christian and so Christ does not "color" or undergird this exhortation/reminder. Nonetheless, I hear deeply the truths that this mother has so skillfully given:

i began as the mother of babes.

and i mean that, for i was born then, too.
all of the me that had begun,
the wonderings and wanderings of my first three decades,
melted away in the faces of those new babies
and i was born anew.

i spent the next decade tending.
and tending, i did well. it was my thing, apparently.

i grew into it, and i loved every minute.
well,
you know that to be a gentle lie.
there were quite a few minutes of awful.  of anguish, even.
and so much comedy, uncertainty, dishevelment.
you know.

but now...
some of my babes are almost grown.
do not kid yourself about how quickly that happens.
do not kid yourself and do not miss a second wishing those
wonderfully intense, delicious early years away.

for it happens even as you are watching them.
they grow.

and as much as you need to lose yourself to care for those newborn babes, those littles-
when they have grown to your size almost-when their feet may be as big!-
it is then that you need to find yourself again.
you need to grow.

for then, as they come upon ten; at twelve maybe...fourteen certainly;
then you must find yourself in order to know how to guide them.  you must be the you
that you want to be,
so that the you they are growing up against and alongside, is the you that you want them to know.

for here's the thing:

in the end,
what you want for them most of all is to leave you.
to leave your house to become who they will be.
and when they are gone
who do you want to be left with?

my wish is that my own answer
is the me that was born out of mothering them.
and the man that's loved me all along the way.

Slip-Slidin' Along

Yesterday the temperature was over a 100 degrees. We schlepped the slip'n'slide out from the garage storage and great merriment commenced. Please excuse Atticus' not-really-meant-for-swim-trunks shorts -- His real ones were in the wash. June is nearly half over...and I can't seem to catch my breath at the speed of our days and weeks. An afternoon like this where our children are laughing and hot and happy makes life slow just a little bit so I can "taste" what my life is right now. I pray for so much joy for them...I hope even if they remember these parts in detail, it fills up their little souls with good, real "food".

Look at those faces...

Lincoln ran over and said "Cheese!"

 

Look at her ruffle-bottomed jean bloomers -- aren't they something? (-:

Oh dear...just look at her...

Hi, Brad...

What Could Possibly Be Apt for This Photo?

Meagan Poppins! or The West Wind Carried Away Our Friend

Since September my wonderful friend Meagan has been coming every Tuesday and Thursday morning to help me watch the children, get my grocery shopping done, sometimes letting me go to doctor appointments, and allowing me more mobility getting Atticus and Isaac M. to and from preschool. From the day she walked into our home she has been a steady, unflappable right-hand woman. She ties shoes, changes diapers, does dishes, folds laundry, plays action figures, cars, reads books, takes the kids to the park, makes lunches, sweeps floors, and has loved my children at every point. I love that she loves families, children, Jesus Christ, her family, baseball, cameras and photography...I love that she is comfortable being quiet or chatting; That she never has to be told to jump in and help -- just sees something that needs to be done and simply does it -- no fanfair. I have never once seen her flustered -- irregardless of the level of chaos ensuing. Ironically, I was reluctant, even resistant, to the idea of hiring help this past year. I think someone coming into your family and basically co-parenting is just so "heavy" and could be entirely awkward and the opposite of helpful. What if our personalities didn't work together. What if I didn't trust her judgement or character or temperament. What if the children didn't like or respect her. What if she had to be told, in detail, every task to be done? What if..? What if...? Just so many variables. But we heard about Meagan through the awesome Priscilla Lundquist of the epic Lundquist Clan of Bloomington (we met at our old church -- All Nations) and after some emails and a meeting, Brad unilaterally made the decision to hire her for at a least a month. Oh my goodness, I had no idea what God had planned. I am so very grateful that God sent exactly the right person to us this year. Thursday was Meagan's last day with us. If my children could be as responsible, servant-minded, diligent, sensible, discrete, kind, gentle, straigt-forwardly-quietly committed to Christ, and just plain decent as Meagan, I will fall down on my knees and thank God.

Makin' Stuff

Atticus has been bringing me all sorts of things he has made up from scratch -- Legos, other blocks, drawings...I love seeing him so creative. This vehicle is a boat that can also fly and has a green wedge "kickstand" for landing on a street. Last week he brought Lincoln a block "trophy" to "remind him how special he is". Then he found a high shelf for it in the room we usually play in so that "Lincoln won't accidentally break it but be able to look up at it and feel good." Isn't that awesome?

(Before haircuts this week -- still, great smile!)

Swimmingly

Really, should a little swimmer look this cute?

A Weekend of Cousins!

(The kids have all woken from naps and I do not have time to edit this -- so in an attempt to get it posted, I will just "let it be" -- sorry!) We went down to Altoona, IA for Memorial Day weekend. Here's a pile of all the cousins. I was pretty sketchy with my photo-taking. I didn't even get a single photo of our great day at the Des Moines Zoo. I was totally impressed with it -- full of kid-fun exhibits. Atticus, Dietrich, and Max even rode a camel! Over the 4 days, we spent so much time with their cousins Max and Ivy. We took the boys bikes and had some great walks along the Altoona bike path. I finished an interesting book on culture-making (Culture Making: Recovering our Creative Calling by Andy Crouch) and got farther into my on-going ancient history overview by Susan Wise Bauer. Nancy had pulled out Brad's childhood collection of He-Man figurines and the boys spent great swaths of the visit playing with all the crazy action figures. Brad had so much fun watching his boys dive into a play-world he adored as a kid. Grandma also pulled the giant case of Legos and a box of new books from the attic. I wish I had taken some shots of them immersed in these...We were able to see Great-Grandma Trellis a couple times and even a visit with Aunt Kay and cousin Ethan at the park. It was a good, real vacation where everyone was able to relax together and find some "space" to re-group. Thank you Tom and Nancy! (And thank you, Kara & Brian, for spending so much of your weekend with us!!)

  

Thea Belle, Lincoln & Ivy June!

 

A lot of backyard playing in the sun!

The kids loved playing a rowdy, slightly disorganized version of t-ball with Grandpa Tom, Uncle Brian and Brad!

 

These three really got along well...Lincoln wanted Ivy to know that Thea Belle was HIS baby, but he was his usual agreeable self and enjoyed both the girls.

Bath-time for the girls

 

 

Thea Belle & Aunt Kara

Grandma read piles of books, went garage sale-ing with me, cooked mountains of food, played Legos, and poured on the love for all the grandkids all weekend long (-:

I love this little serious face -- I feel that way about chocolate too.

Great Grandma Trellis with Thea Belle & Brad

I loved getting to know Ivy. I haven't been around her very much -- especially since she has moved out of the baby age. She was so gentle with Thea and a very affectionate little girl. I am looking forward to spending some more uninterrupted time with this little one during the Johannsen week at the Lake coming up in July. Sometimes I feel feel stunted in getting to know children other than my own. I want to know my nieces and nephews as much as I can considering I live far away from every one of them. I really think I need to be even more deliberate with the distance.