Aaarrrrr!

This is Atticus dressed as a pirate. He instructed me to get my camera and take pictures of him with a pirate face. After every photo, he came over and checked out the result until he was happy with the expression. These are my two favorite.

Food. Good?

Wednesday I tried starting Lincoln on solid food again. The first time I tried, it didn't go over so well. This time, he still wasn't sure at first...

But then he decided he really liked it and didn't want it to quit coming. He has had oatmeal cereal with a little apple sauce and water and banana. And the food adventure begins...

Preschool Orientation

Thursday afternoon Atticus and I had a short preschool orientation. He starts next Tuesday morning at Hope Lutheran Preschool. He will be in the bear class which meets Tuesday and Thursday mornings for 2 1/2 hours. I am hoping it will be fun for him to meet some new kids and have some fun group play (always a favorite with him) and that it will be fun for Dietrich and Lincoln to have a little more direct attention from me. I might try to do something special with the younger two once a week and maybe run errands the other morning.

He has two teachers and 13 classmates. This is Michelle who will co-teach Atticus' class with Tana. If you want to look at their website it is: http://hopepreschoolandchildcare.org They also have a page on facebook. If you want to know about the church, their website is: www.hopempls.org

Each month their class will focus on one fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5 and a particular color and shape. This month is Love, Red, and the Circle.

State Fair

Tuesday Bekah took Atticus by himself to the State Fair. He had so much fun. She gave him over-the-top royal kid-treatment: A new hat, cotton candy, cheese curds, hot dog & fries, rides, petting a baby pig, looking at the farm equipment and sitting on a 4-wheeler. He came back wild with excitement. And Bekah had fun being the hero (-:

Very Sad

Dietrich has been sobbing and screaming for an hour. He will not go down for a nap. It is inexplicable. He has been waking up every night this week screaming, sobbing, the same. We even take him to bed with us and there is no rest, for him or for us. It is very sad.

He is in his crib in his room right now saying over and over "Momma! No Deke! Baby! Mom! Momma! Deke! No, Baby..." I feel an inscrutable mixture of heart-broken, exhausted, anger, and anxiety. And a little numb because I need him to go to sleep. He needs to go to sleep.

Too Much. Not Enough.

"Too much. Not enough." For many years this is what I wanted on my tombstone. I always feel that life is just too much for me to assimilate; too much to navigate through. And yet I never felt satisfied -- always hungry to know more, understand more, be more, do more, see more...feel more...And now I am in a new part of my life, with a satisfying marriage to my best friend and three little people in my care...a yard and a house in a busy city...and not enough time to think or read or write or sort through or "do" the things I want to do for them or with them. And I want so very many things -- spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, materially -- I am just not content. I'm not. And I am not surprised. Not at all. I am a restlessly discontent person. God calls us to a place of rest in Him. A place of quiet and trust. Yet we are to be diligent in an ever-increasing pursuit of up-rightness and gladness and thankfulness and love-fullness. All the fruit that comes from the Spirit dwelling in us. Abide in Him and we will bear fruit. Abiding is a quiet, resting thing. But then Paul says pursue it with all diligence and to fight the fight -- beating ourselves into a fervent full-tilt thrash to the finish line -- finish strong, finish well. And, that, of course, is not restful, not passive. But rest doesn't have to be passive. In fact, I think I remember God teaching me once that contentment is not stagnancy: Contentment does not mean you don't try to keep the living room neat, tidy, in good repair. Contentment does not mean you don't try to know your husband better or find more and better ways to help him, please him, or enjoy time with him. I bet contentment doesn't even mean that you don't save up or plan to get the crappy windows replaced in the front of your house or conquer and eke out a garden from your weedy sideyard. It just means that you do it all with thankfulness. That you do it looking at Christ your King and Treasure and Fullness. That you keep that glad smile and patient excitement about whatever is right now and whatever will be tomorrow or next year. Whether it means the couch is shabbier or that you still have 57 books you would love to read but haven't been able to or a growing and neglected notebook of creative projects fruitlessly calling to you from the shelf. It is O. K. Right now I am here. Right now Christ knows and understands whatever is hard about the good things he has given me. He understands and He "gets it" while not letting me grow bitter or useless or dull or yucky inside. He will make me into what I am meant to be. He will use me for good in the lives of these 4 men that I love so furiously. He will not allow me to ruin or waste this good good good life that He has handed to me. He is faithful to not leave me to my own horribleness. Hallelujah. Amen.

If you have time to read something that helped me very much today: I found Nancy Wilson's blog today and read this entry on Contentment:
http://femina.reformedblogs.com/2009/06/19/what-is-the-way-to-contentment/

Iowa State Fair

Two weekends ago we headed down to Des Moines to celebrate my mom and Brad's dad's birthdays -- They turn the same age one day apart. Brad's dad was singing in the Iowa State Fair with his men's choral group and my mom and dad came over from Dubuque to visit for the morning. We met for breakfast Friday morning at Kara's (Brad's sister) coffee shop in Altoona. Brad's grandma Trellis also met us there.

Lincoln & Trellis

Kara & my Mom

My Dad & Tom

After breakfast we went over to really nice new playground.

My dad reading Atticus a book before naptime...

Later at the Iowas State Fair...Aunt Kay holding Lincoln

Trellis, Grandma Nancy & Atticus waiting for Grandpa Tom to start singing

Cousins Marcia & Logan on the other side of Brad...

The singing group -- Tom to the right of the director

Grandpa Tom & Lincoln hot in the art building

I should have more pictures but as happened, Brad, myself and the two older boys all got sick...so we spent a lot of time up with them at night and a lot of time during the day trying to repair and catch up on sleep...It was good to have help while both of us parents were so sick...ahhh...Thank you, Tom & Nancy!